Sermon Title: "Seven Deadly Sins: Anger" Part 3 of 7
Author's Name: Rev. Alex Knight
"You are familiar with the command to the ancients, do not murder. I'm telling you that anyone who is so much as gets angry with a brother or sister, is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother idiot and you might has well find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell stupid to a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple mortal fact is that words kill."Matthew 5: 21- 22
I remember several years ago when I was going through my divorce, I was talking a pastoral counselor and he said to me, "Tell me about how you are dealing with your anger?" And I said, "What anger? I'm not angry." He said, "Oh. tell me about that." I said, "Well, the Bible teaches the perfect love of God casts out all fear and I know anger is rooted in fear so, therefore, if I know Christ and Christ is in me and God's love has come in me, it's cast out all fear and if there is no fear in me, . . . there can't be any anger in me either, so therefore, I'm not angry."
He just shook his head. As you can well imagine I was in a lot of denial because the greatest fear in my life was having to deal with the anger I felt within me. It wasn't an anger, it was more like a rage and I didn't know what to do with it, . . . it scared me. So, I just denied it was there.
The truth is anger is a normal part of our human emotions. Everyone of us experience anger and as we are going through this series of messages on the seven deadly sins, we want to recognize anger can well be a sin and it can be a deadly sin.
It is not always a sin. There are good or appropriate types of anger. For instance, Jesus goes to the temple on one of the Holy days. Part of the worship experience was bringing sacrifices to God as a way of atoning for sin. Jesus found the local merchants had moved their shops right up to the temple doors and then up into the temple itself. If you had come from a foreign country, you could go in there and exchange your money for the coin of the realm. If you needed to purchase certain items for your worship experience, for a sacrificial offering, you could buy it right there in the lobby of the temple. It would be as though we open up the doors of our Narthex and we had people doing business and laughing and joking and carrying on in the Narthex of the church while we're in here having worship. Jesus became very angry. He turned their tables upside down and He ran them out of the temple. Now, it was not because these people were doing something that wasn't needed. Someone had to make available sacrificial items to the people or to exchange their money. Jesus was angry these merchants had become so crass about it. All they cared about it was making a buck. They had lost their sensitivity to the sacredness of the moment. The Temple was God's house and they were defiling it with their careless attitude and that angered Jesus. It was an appropriate anger because they were defiling the things of God. At times we need to have appropriate anger within us.
Tony Campolo was speaking to an annual conference and said, "You know what's wrong with you folks? You don't give a "blank" that thousands of little kids, around the world are going to bed hungry tonight."
In that "blank", he said an expletive. It was a vulgar word, - - - it was a crude word, it is one that we wouldn't say in a church or in polite company, --- but he said it. You could hear a hush in that place. It took their breath away. Then he said, "You know that's really not the problem., the real problem is you are more angry I said "blank" than you are that millions of kids are going to bed hungry tonight around the world."
There are appropriate uses of anger. When we get angry enough about racism or poverty or oppression or injustice, we will do something about it. We will be motivated to take action when anger wells up within us and we become angry about the things God is angry about. But, when we are more angry somebody has breached social custom, than we are little kids are going to bed hungry, well then the little kids will keep on going to bed hungry. We may talk politely among ourselves, but God's children will die.
We need to be angry about the right kinds of things. We need to understand anger is a normal part of our human interaction one with another and in our relationship with God. There are times we will become angry with God. The focus we need to have is to understand we are all going to become angry. It's not a sin to become angry. The sin is in what do we do with anger.
When we get angry enough about racism or poverty or oppression or injustice, we will do something about it.
On the one hand you can do as I tried to do and ignore it is there. One of the things we have come to understand about our human condition is the emotions you and I have inside us are very simple. They are all connected one with another, the good and the bad. The emotion of anger is connected to the emotion of love or generosity or kindness or sensitivity. It is as though there is one "on and off " switch for all those emotions. If you are angry and you decide you are going to stifle it and not give expression to it, ... it's like flipping the switch of your emotions to the off position. It makes it very difficult for you to be sensitive to people who offer to you acts of love and kindness. It makes it difficult for you to be sensitive to people who would be responsive to your offer of love or kindness because you have turned your emotions off when you choose not to deal with your anger. That can be very destructive, - - - it can be very dysfunctional to the human condition. As much as acting out on your anger.
Some people, because they do not deal with their anger, will impulsively react in anger to the people and circumstances they encounter. Jesus, in the text today, reveals to us the tale we heard as children, "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" - - - that's a lie. Words hurt deeper and longer than sticks and stones ever thought about hurting us. Words shape our whole life. Many children are the victim of rage and anger and people speaking harshly to them. This will shape their whole life. It will lower their self-esteem and their sense of who they are as God's precious children. Oh yes, words hurt. It seems we have a problem? We know anger is real. We know we all experience it. We have seen to repress anger is hurtful and to express anger can be hurtful. What are we supposed to do with this thing we call anger so it doesn't become a deadly sin to rob us of the joy of being the children of God?
There are three steps to dealing with our anger.
First, is to make up our mind anger stops with you. Jesus was innocent of sin. He had committed no crime, yet He was mistreated, He was flogged, He was beaten, He was spit upon, He was slapped in the face and He was crucified. What did He say when He was hanging on the cross? "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they are doing." Jesus made a decision that violence would stop with Him. He would not pass it on. Anger is a form of violence. It is a form of verbal abuse when it becomes expressive and is physical abuse when expressed to it's ultimate end.
The people that were in control of the religious thought at the time of Jesus were angry at Jesus because He threatened them. He threatened them with their control over the people and they did not like that and they acted out in an angry way and crucified our Lord. Jesus made a decision that He would live out the model of the suffering servant and anger would stop with Him. Our first understanding of how to diffuse anger so it does not become a sin in our life, is to say I am not going to pass it on.
When somebody acts out against me, I am not going to act out against them. I am not going to retaliate against them in anger either orally or any other way. It's going to stop with me. I am not going to pass it on. The cycle of violence stops. The impulsive response to anger is going to stop with me.
What do we do about the anger? We know we are angry, . . . what do we do about it? Somebody has hurt us. Somebody has come into our sphere of influence, to our environment, and they have done something by word or by deed and it has angered us. We have been hurt, what do we do about it?
We go to the Bible that is our rule and our guide for our daily life and we see what God has revealed to us as a model for our life.
Psalm 137 is an expression of anger by God's people at the time the Babylonians and other people had come in and conquered Israel. They had destroyed Jerusalem. They had taken the people captive and they were taking them back to another country where they would become slaves. On the journey out of Jerusalem, with their lives totally disrupted, their families broken apart, their captors said, "Why don't you sing songs to your God now? Get out your musical instruments and let's hear you praise this great God of yours." Psalm 137 reveals how the people responded when they were so mocked by their captors.
Those are tough words. Those are some angry people. Can you hear that? It's not hard to imagine their anger when they are asking for revenge against these people who have so hurt them. They were just being honest. You need to understand, their babies had been killed. Their families separated, - - - they had been the victims of torture, murder and rape and pillage. They were very angry. But, in the midst of that anger, can you see that they turned it over to God. They said, "Oh God, you go and revenge us!". You may recall last fall when we were looking at the attributes of God, one of the attributes we saw was God is Jehovah Nissi, the banner over us. Our protector, the one who fights for us. The Psalmist is saying "God, fight for us against the Edomites, against the Babylonians for what they've done to us. The model for you and me, in terms of dealing with our anger, is to turn it over to God and say "God, will you defend me? Will you get them for what they have done to me? Will you reap revenge for me, in your name against that person?"
"Along Babylon's river we sat on the banks and we cried and we cried remembering the good old days in Zion. Alongside the quaking aspens we stacked our unplayed harps, that's where I captors demanded songs. Sarcastic and mocking, sing us a happy Zion song. Oh how could we ever sing Yaweh's song in this wasteland. If I ever forget you Jerusalem, let my fingers wither and fall off like leaves, let my tongue swell and turn black if I fail to remember you. If I fail oh dear Jerusalem, to honor you as my greatest. Yaweh, remember those Edomites and remember the ruling of Jerusalem. That day they yelled out, wreck it, smash it to bits and you, Babylonians, ravagers, a reward to whoever gets back at you for all that you've done to us. Yes, a reward to the one who grabs your babies and smashes their heads on the rock."Psalm 137
You say that's not a very Christ-like attitude, - - - well that's okay, trust God. God does not do everything you tell Him to do. You honestly express to God what is going on in your heart. That you are angry, you are hurting for what has happened to you.
Sometimes God Himself will be the one you ventilate your anger. We know in the process of grief, you go through several stages, such as blaming yourself for something bad that has happened in your life like the loss of a loved one. We also know for Christian people, religious people the process of grief includes being angry with God. "God, how could you have let that happen? Why did you let that happen God?"
God can handle our anger. He can handle our anger at Himself and He can handle our anger at one another.
The first step in diffusing anger as a sin is to make a commitment to yourself the violence, the cycle of violence and anger stop with you. Next, because you know you need to deal with your anger, you are going to express it to God.
The third step is we listen to God. We listen to God impart wisdom to our soul. God works all things together for our good. The scriptures tell us even things that are meant for evil, God uses for good. Therefore, we want to listen for the instruction of God to our heart and to our soul. We ask, "God, what is happening in my life? This has pushed a button within me. Why did I respond so angrily?"
You are in a parking lot, and see a parking place, somebody pulls into it before you can. You say things inside your car that you hope nobody else can hear...and then you sit there and think... "Why did I respond so angrily that somebody took my place or that somebody cut me off when I was driving?" God will tell you. It may be you are like many, many people in our world that want their environment and their life to be in control. I do not know any of us that wants to be out of control where things just happen as random circumstances and we never know one day to the next what is going to happen. But, some people get so concerned about situations like this they want to control every aspect of their life. Which means they control the people as well as the circumstances in their life. Sometimes, something will come along and turn your little controlled world upside down. Somebody will suggest something new. Do it a different way, do it this way and you find you respond in an angry way. You say something sarcastically or harshly that hurts someones feelings. At the time you are angry yourself because you feel hurt, - - - somebody has invaded your sphere of influence.
In prayer, you ask God to show you what is going on. Why did something like that cause you to react so quickly? God will reveal the answer. Maybe you need to loosen your grip and just let God be in control. God might be sending things in your life that would bless you and you are keeping those blessings out because you are trying so desperately hard to control each and every step in your life. Maybe He wants you to loosen your grip.
On the other hand, you might be the victim of someone who lashed out orally or maybe you were ignored. Maybe you wanted somebody to be there and they weren't there. Maybe you needed somebody to do something and they did not do it. Maybe somebody said they would do something and then they failed to follow through. You are angry about it, but you have made that decision you are not going to pass on anger, you are going to let it stop with you.
Next, you tell God about it. "God this person hurt me. They ignored me. They didn't do what they said they were going to do. I needed them and they weren't there. Then you listen. You listen to what God has to say to your soul.
Maybe somebody is taking advantage of you. God might say to you to tell the truth to another person in love. That is a hard thing to do, but God may be calling you to do that. Many times people will say or do things that hurt us . What do we do? We pull back, - - - we pull back and we want to hide. We want to retreat to where nobody else can hurt us.
We do not like confrontation We do not like to deal with things that are difficult. I do not know anybody that really does. I certainly do not. How many times have we been in situations where people have hurt out feelings because of what they've done or what they've said and our tendency is to pull back and to just let go and do nothing? We pull back yet our attitude becomes a little bit aggressive towards other people. Remember when I talked before that when we stifle our emotions it is like flipping that on/off switch. When we've been hurt like that and we don't deal with it, it's like throwing that switch to the off position and we're not able to process and to respond to the loving nature of things because we do not respond to the things that hurt us.
I know this is difficult. What we learn to do as we listen to God is sometimes we need to go to a brother or a sister in the Lord or somebody in our family and just say, " When you did this, it made me feel this way and it hurt" Then you let it go and trust God with it. Now, I cannot guarantee you the person is not going to tell you, "Tough...get over it" and just be rude to you again. But, remember you are not responsible for how they respond. What you are responsible for is hearing God and responding to the wisdom God imparts to you.
The Apostle Paul writes to the Philippian church, "Let your relationships with one another arise from your life in Christ." (Phil 2:5, NEB) So our relationships are meant to model after the life of Christ within you. When we trust Jesus to lead us, then we can speak the truth to one another in love. When we have done that, we have thoroughly broken the cycle of violence and of anger.
A friend told of the time he had been at a family function. They were standing around talking and his sister was near him. They were talking about her husband. Then a few minutes later he made a comment about somebody being a "son of a gun", but he didn't say gun.
He said for years after , his sister was always very cool toward him. Stand-offish. The relationship was strained, they were not close at all. Nothing was said as to why the change in their relationship. They just went for years that way.
Finally the sister could not stand it any longer and she went to him. She said, "You know why I'm so mad at you. Because 15 years ago you called my husband a son of a gun!"
The truth of the matter is her husband was a man my friend admired and respected above all others. He considered him not just a brother-in-law, but a friend. They hunted together, they fished together. Years before, he was referring to somebody else that was a son of a gun. Not his brother-in-law. It was a misunderstanding. But she got angry. But, she stuffed her feelings and when she stuffed them, she flipped her emotional switch. Not only was her relationship with her brother affected, but also affected were relationships with all of her family. When you shut down in one area of your emotions, all of your emotions slowly begin to shut down.
Isn't it sad --- they missed so many years of their life because she stuffed her anger instead of working through her anger with God. God wants us to work together, to love together and get along together in His kingdom.
We are called by God to:
1- Make up our mind that we are not going to pass on anger.
2- Tell God about our feelings.
3- Listen to God show us how to respond to one another in love.When we do these things, we will find we have truly broken the cycle of violence and anger. We overcome the power and practice of sin in our life.
If we do not practice these steps. we find the sin of anger can disrupt a family, it can disrupt a church, it can disrupt a whole community because it is a deadly sin.
Let us pray. Heavenly Father, we tend to get so pulled back in the ways we live today. We are separated by fences and cars with windows rolled up. We tend to go home and stay home. Father, it is almost as we have a cocoon we run to and try to hide in all the time. But you have created us to be in community, be in fellowship with one another. Father we tend to resist living in your community we call the Kingdom of God because it is such hard work.
We ask you to grant us grace, so we do not to pull back but we step forward and walk in your love. By the power of your grace set us free from the spirit of anger. Create within us Lord a willingness to break the cycle of violence and anger right now in our lives. Help us to not pass it on to, but to trust you will fight for us and you will give us the wisdom that we can speak the truth to one another in love. This is our prayer in Jesus' name. Amen.